seventy-three.

FEELIN KINDA LAZY, I DONT LIKE THIS PLACE.

i just ordered such a great surprise for $2 and i can't wait to get it in the mail. i need to get better with my money, i'm never going to get anywhere treating money the way i do. as soon as i have it i spend it, so dumb. all i ever talk about wanting to do is move out, but first i have to buy a new car and pay off my debt. ....so it looks like shopping and going out to eat all the time aren't very good ideas at this point in my life. one day i'll be rich, and i'll buy whatever i please. no, really, i will. my room is a dirthole, there's stuff everywhere. tomorrow after work im going to come home, do my laundry, and clean my room... at least i hope that's what i do. then the season premiere of THE OFFICE. phat. i can never decide what to do with my hair, as soon as i do something new i miss what i had before.. it never ends! i need to sort stuff out for school so i can start in the spring. i really feel like im never going to move out and it's killing me. my mommy comes home tonight and ive missed her. everything sucks, but everything's okay. COOL.

seventy-two.

i just had the nicest and most relaxed weekend. and i was so sick the entire time. taylor took me on a date which ended up starting my weekend earlier than i thought, we had a sleepover and both took off work on friday because we were sick. i think it was my most enjoyed and stress free weekend in a long time. i loved every second of it, except the coughing. i got to babysit, which i haven't done in awhile and i was so excited all week leading up to it. i had fun.
i'm still sick now, which stinks. i left work an hour early today because i felt sick to my stomach, and i really don't want to go in tomorrow because i'm not feeling much better, but i probably will, because i should. bo's been acting weird, he has a bald spot on his hip and he's been sort of clinging or something. i called the vet and i'm taking him later this week, i hope he's fine. ..my poor little baby. marv's here visiting, i feel bad i think he misses taylor. i guess that's weird to think that a tortoise could be homesick, i mean.. he is in his same tank and everything. he just doesn't seem himself right now either. i think i might just be crazy.

i have ugly skinny eyebrows now. so sad.

seventy-one.

i wish there were reasons for why i get the way i get.

seventy.

i miss dancing so much, i feel empty without it. i wish i never quit, even from when i was 7, i wish i just kept with it, instead of taking breaks from it every couple years. i wish that there was more to do with dancing, i love performing, and i don't feel like i could ever be a dance teacher. so if i had gone to school for it like i planned, that would leave me with joining a company for a few years. who knows, maybe that could have lead to something and maybe i would have decided to teach. i just feel like it's too late at this point, if i had stayed with it, then maybe things would be a little different. i should start taking classes though. i just miss it. i dont miss gymnastics so much. well, i miss gymnastics like i miss cheerleading, it was fun. i exercised and stayed in shape doing things that i had a blast doing, i do miss that.

i guess i just miss performing.

sixty-nine.

our one air conditioner broke, and you wouldn't believe the difference it makes. i'm sitting in my underwear and i still cant escape the heat. all i have to cool me off, at all, is some jones soda. what happened to the cold nights?
i feel sort of stuck again. i mean, i moved up in my job and i'm getting a new car soon. but everything else feels the same. and not really in a good way. i guess it's good that nothing else has gotten worse, but i wish something would get better, so that i could be reassured. i don't feel good.

i miss having a best friend. it gets lonely.