Tuesday, December 04, 2007

thirty-nine.

i know i should be, but i just can't get it to happen. i can't be happy, at least not for long. i always feel so useless. i don't make things better, for anyone. i make everything harder. i feel like nothing's worth it anymore. i'm so exhausted. i can't figure out what to do with my life, and time is moving too fast. i'm so scared of where everything's going. i don't even know where to start. i just want to be better. i want to feel better. i just want better, for everyone. "i can't do this anymore" crosses my mind too many times a day. i just want to give up.

i don't get it, i don't know why i do this - why i get so fucking upset over nothing. it just seems that no matter how hard i try, things won't get better for anyone or myself.

i don't know what i want to do in life. i need to feel like i am useful, so far i don't.

ugh, i'm going go to bed.

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