Tuesday, March 04, 2008

forty-nine.

i'm scared that you were happier before me. and i'm scared that it's because of me and not just some coincidence. i feel so sick to my stomach. all i can think about is going to work tomorrow, and how i feel like i'm in no shape at all. i want to come see you right now. i just want to feel like this is what you want, again.

i'm tired of doing this. of feeling so down on myself. not believing that there's any good. why can't i just accept something for what it is, and leave it at that? why can't i just take it? i always have to fight things and think that they aren't what they seem. it's tearing my apart, i can't keep feeling this way.

i need to stop letting you down. i need to stop letting everyone down. i can't get anything right. why can't i just.. make everything better?

help.

2 comments:

danielle said...

i wish you would stop being so sad. you're too good for this.

Anonymous said...

LET X DOWN