seven.

i am increasingly becomming more and more excited about applying at UARTS. my application is almost complete and ready to be submitted, but i am a retard and don't understand half of the things it is asking me. however, i have picked my audition date... december 2nd.
this has turned into something that i actually want. at first i didn't mind the thought of BCCC for a year. i knew id still be living at home, and id hate that. but i figured, ive lasted this long, whats another year? ..besides i don't even know what i want to do with my life.. this will buy me more time.
&i've always been real stubborn when it comes to me&dancing. people would insist that it's something i am meant to do, and they can tell when they watch me.. i figured they were just being nice. but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that i do love to dance.. it is a part of my life and always has been. even when i wasn't registered at a dance studio and regularly taking classes, i was still in love with dance... its something that i am supposed to be doing.
so after the initial shock of, leaving my comfort zone and realizing that i am growing up. i understood that this could be so good for me. i have living arrangements sort of "half-assed" figured out. who knows if they'll work out.. but i really hope they do, it would be fun.
but when i comes down to it.. i have finally found something that i am confident in. it's not that i am a confident dancer, because i'm still not and probably never will be. but i am confident in the fact that I WANT THIS. because I REALLY DO.
basically i will be a nervous wreck towards the end of november, end of story.

..im growing up. WTF?!