fourteen.

betterdays.

this weekend was real nice, i enjoyed it all alot.

today i got to thinking, and my life really isn't bad at all. i love the people that i am friends with and spend the majority of my time with, they make things so much better. the only downside to any of it, is my mindframe. i don't know why i don't let myself feel okay with where i am.. i don't understand why i can't just see&accept that things are nice. right now, it's just weird, and i think it's dying down and will end soon. and i will, again, be okay.. for a good amount of time. i love when i feel happy and when i know that things are alright. i like to feel secure with where i am, as apposed to being filled with doubt and questions about everything. i think that things will be good, real soon.

on a side note [mooshygooshygaytalk. ;)]
11months just passed. i couldn't be more pleased with where things are.

i have my days where i let stupid thoughts get the best of me, and i wish i could find the words to explain whats wrong, but i never can. so i find it easier to just say "i am fine" and get over it. i know that it's never anything worth getting worked up over, but some days i just can't help it. and i think i should talk about it, but it tends to be so silly, or something that i just cant figure out, that i decide to just ignore it. that's okay though, it's never real problems, so i shouldn't even be bummed in the first place.

..that's beside the point, though. i am so happy with where we are. i feel loved, and i feel wanted. i feel that there is finally someone who can tolerate me and tell me the truth and be there for me and never ever make me real mad. it's a nice feeling, to know that there is at least one person who has your back. in that sense, i feel secure. and as i said already, i like to feel secure. i don't want this to go away, this feeling of security and love and being wanted and having someone to care for.

..just know that i love you, and that won't change.

have a nice day.